Non-Traditional Jobs and Gigs

Some people post on Craigslist offering things that really don’t make sense in the traditional sense of an advertisement.

One poster is looking for a grandma to do “grandma stuff” with potential to become a house manager.

An engaged woman is looking for a “less whiny” sounding guitarist-and-singer to sing Bright Eyes’ “This is the First Day of my Life” at her wedding for her aisle march. Fifty dollars for one song on June 20, 2009.

Model call for area “MILFs” and otherwise hot moms looking to support their children in non-traditional ways. Write in for a chance to become a catalog model.

If you are looking for speakers and don’t mind a bit of acrylic-based paint under your nails, a couple is looking to trade high-quality speakers for your chromatic labor.

If you can comic, ensue trust in strangers, and don’t mind not being immediately compensated, one post seeks you to start a series “50/50.”

Intern at a start-up organic farm located on the western slope this winter if you so fancy.

While typically a catering service is started based on the coordinator, Fiona’s Catering is a company looking for just this position. If you enjoy staffing, planning, coordinating and other event and catering centered projects, Fiona’s may be the job you want with the start-up risks you don’t.

And finally, (my personal favorite) if you are willing to move, positions are available for Loan Officers in North Denver Metro and Arvada awake what is being called a synonymous banking, loan and economic crisis.

Innovative Food Sourcing

Hungry Craigslisting offers a variety of results, an entrepreneur’s fantasy and a collector’s vision.

Yours to make an offer on: a 1983 Chevy Stepvanwith a 350 motor, 58,000 miles. Has a fryer, steam table, warmer, grill with hood, refrigerator, 3-compartment sink, hand-wash sink. Runs with propane and electricity.

Images from the poster of the food truck.

Or you could buy yourself a fast food franchise in Greeley close to the University of Northern Colorado campus for $250,000.

Estes Park you will find a Monarch wood cook stove for $500. A wood stove for camping for $30 in Fort Collins and an antique Porcelain Wood Cook Stove Set in Loveland for $50.

You can obtain a cereal dispenser in Greeley to assist your storage of up to 35 ounces, 17.5 ounces in each of two side-by-side dispensers, for only $30.

Similarly, a dual-beverage dispensing machine saves your counter space as it “dispenses 2 flavors in less than one square foot.” It has a cooling feature, is made of stainless steel, and the poster claims to have never used it before. $600.

Buy a grill for your pleasure or for your gift giving pleasure for $75. Grill is brand new, still in the box.

Or Melissa can cook if you don’t have time to. She advertises her services for parties, receptions, or family get-togethers, and can also make a week’s worth of food for your use.

For eleven bucks, September 18th through October 2nd, you can play bingo and eat dinner with “the Knights of Columbus.” $1500 will be given away each night. Doors open at 5 p.m. and games are on Thursdays at 7 p.m. and Sundays at 6:30 p.m. Proceeds benefit the Food Bank of Larimer County, the MS Society, and the Social Justice Committee.

If you like to launder and clean, consider a live-in housekeeper job for a busy couple with a teenager. Room and board is covered and up to $300 food per month. Cooking duties are shared and negotiable. Board consists of two rooms, one smaller to suit a child and the other with showering, and a living room. This contract position is based from Greeley.

Also, the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund is looking for part-time canvassers. The pay is $12 per hour, plus a gas stipend, and hours are 2 to 8 p.m. Food is provided at the end of each shift. Canvassers must dislike Bob Schaffer.

Finally, for your scaly pets: A departed lizard leaves behind two large feeder mice for your use, and an over-exerted pet owner looks to rid himself of a Dumbo rat, preferably as a pet but for the larger varieties, it may be dinner.

Free Broken TV

One poster, is giving away a 27″ Sony Trinitron television, free.

The ad details the product, “Won’t turn on. May need power supply?”

This struck a chord with a rants-and-raves poster who said, “HA HA HA ….you think.”

Another rants-and-raves reader thought to correct the misguided giggler saying, “A TV has a ‘power supply’ inside it that takes the house current and changes it to a level the TV uses.”

The first poster clarified “I was just simply saying that it was funny the way it was wrote.”

Rock Climbing Lessons

Rock climbing can be difficult and dangerous, but very rewarding. Lessons are very valuable to your safety and can ensure you enjoy the sport and stay safe.

Breaking through the heavy, and wet fog of typical service ads of repair, yard, housecleaning and tutoring ads that fill the services section, creeps a small genuine ad for rock climbing.

While many other ads may seem a tad fishy, the poster simply lists what he can teach you, that he has five years of experience, that he is willing to work with families, and that anyone interested need provide their own climbing shoes, everything else can be supplied. They are skeletal factors of any basic advertisement for tutoring-type services.

What makes this ad unique, what makes this ad seemingly genuine is his postscript which says “as a bonus I will teach ethics and lingo.”
In such a short informal ad, with the help of a smiling emoticon, the ad writer, Brandon, has my business if I ever decide to take up rock climbing.

(If you are interested you can send him an email directly by clicking his name.)

Pitbulls and Leash Laws

It is apparent that the laws concerning pet conduct are hot topics in Fort Collins. Several posts this weekend specifically target Pit Bulls, love them or hate them, and the Leash law, as follows suit.

According Chapter 4 of the Fort Collins Municipal Code and Charter, the chapter concerning “Animals and Insects”,

“All pet animals, except birds, shall be kept under restraint. It shall be unlawful for the owner or keeper of any pet animal, except birds, to permit such animal to be at large in the City.”

That includes all service animals and domesticated pets, in front yards, at dog parks, on trails, anywhere within municipal limits.

And while some districts may ban particular breed, especially the reputably violent Pit Bull, Fort Collins does not.

However, as solid as these codes may seem, there is much debate surrounding them.

One firey conversation began with a post which claimed an unleashed encounter where the poster kicks a terrier in the defense of her infantile children breaking its neck.

“First I don’t care whether your dog is friendly or not. It’s supposed to be leashed. Second, friendly or not, you don’t have the right to allow your dog to run up to me, or my kids, much less bark and snap. In other words I don’t want ANY dog near me or my kids,” the post details. “Leash your mutts people or suffer the consequences….”

Responses include:

Disagree: This poster felt the woman should be locked up for her actions and felt her violence spoke to future violence on behalf of the woman.

>Disagree: “then whe your kids roam into some elses yard when they get big, and they will, they might seem a threat, so it would be ok to go and attack them and kill them, cause after all you would only be protecting your space cause of feeling threatened.”

Nuetral: This poser thinks the original post was fake as the subject is a hot bed of debate.

In a related thread concerning an unleashed dog encountering an owner with a leashed dog, Agree: “I am not going to strain myself holding my large dog back because you can’t control yours.”

Another thread began with a post detailing an encounter with the human sort who discriminated against her because of her dog’s breed, Pit bull.

“Some older woman kept glaring over at us, and just saying, “Get that dog out of here!” and she just kept doing that. But here she is with some min pins that did not behave all that well with other dogs and running freely, and she is yelling at the guy with a leashed pitt bull who was being a sweetheart to everyone that she met. She came from a bad start, but had a new beginning in life and was doing good and being a good girl.”

Responses were a bit more varied in this thread:

Agree: “why is it that so many people are against pit bulls as an entire breed? Not all pits are mean, it’s been proven a pure bred pit is not as likely to attack as a mixed breed is. But even then there’s more records of german shepards attacking people every year than pit bulls do. Just pit bulls are stronger so they can inflict more damage which is why it’s always in the media. Hell dalmations are vicious dogs too.”

Disagree: “I do agree with you that it depends that it is how the dog is raised as to how it’s going to act. Only thing is, and dog can turn at any point, no matter how it was raised and bite. And with the jaws that a pitt has it can do alot more damage then other dogs can do in a heart beat.”

Disagree, strongly: “All pit bulls should be destroyed…period. / They are breed genetically aggressive and can turn on a dime to attack any child or adult…seen it a hundred times!”

Feeling Good in the Neighborhood

If you are looking for something to make you feel good about your contribution to society, there are opportunities galore on Craigslist hidden under the piles of political banter, classified ads, personals, etcetera.

One good thing you could do this weekend is help a 60-year-old man move from Greeley to Fort Collins on Saturday. He needs 2 strong youngins and has a truck. If you are impartial to shopping, shop for groceries for senior citizens unable to make the trip themselves. Shopping and delivery service volunteers help seniors remain independent and stay in their own homes. The Sexual Assault Victim Advocate Center is looking for volunteers to man the 24-hour lines.

If you do not want to work but still want to feel good, a fundraiser is being held at the Cici’s Pizza in Greeley. to help local Rosita Hester pay for a new set of lungs. The fundraiser has mulpiple dates including September 13, October 11, November 8, December 13, and January 10. Hearts and Horses is also hosting a charity event to raise money for the operation of the non-profit which gives disabled citizens a chance to ride horses. Breakfast and a ride through Horsetooth and included with a minimum donation of $25 dollars on September 21.

There is a Sustainable Living Fair on September 20th and 21th at the Rocky Mountain Raptor Center. “The 9th annual Sustainable Living Fair offers a weekend of solution-based, interactive, family oriented events designed to educate people of all ages and backgrounds about: renewable energy, green building, natural health, social responsibility, and local economies.”

Saturday 10am – 6pm
Sunday 10am – 5pm
$5 per day, Kids under 12 free!

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Misplaced People

Conga player looking for music-mates

One conga player is looking for a few who enjoy jamming out “semi-traditional son, changui, or to whip up a good Cuban Descarga.” Never left his name, his picture should surely conjure up responses.

A self-proclaimed awesome roommate is looking for a place to live, preferably in Old Town. She is a 59-year-old “civil rights activist/poet” needing a place to rent that is handicap accessible, as she recovers from a riding incident. She describes herself as fascinating, humorous, a great cook, and is single “with a friend.”

A “fearless” athletic male is looking for a partner to trade intimate or athletic massages, your choice.

A new-to-the-area couple is looking for friendship with women of color, ages 26-36, who are “gbltq friendly” for friendship that offers meaningful conversations, barbeques, board games, camping or dinner and movies. Their endeavors are strictly asexual.

Also, a pair of experienced role-playing gamers is looking for a group to join. “We’d prefer a fantasy setting but don’t mind sci-fi too much. We’re not interested in Star Trek, Star Wars, or World of Darkness. We’d prefer not to play d20 or GURPS (or any other unnecessarily complicated dice system that detracts from the actual game play), but we’re more interested in the setting and would consider it for the right group.”

Riden razes Rants and Raves

It’s been a big week for Republican Vice President Candidate, Sarah Palin. The Alaskan Governor bound from the announcement of her position as running mate for Presidential nominee John McCain, to announcing her 17-year-old daughter’s pregnancy Monday, to becoming one of the most discussed “subject” on Rants and Raves in these 5 short days.

As the subject of at least 48 posts that name her explicitly. After Democratic nominee Barak Obama at 130 posts, and her running mate John McCain who has been the explicit subject of 116 posts.

As common as it is for candidates to be intensely scrutinized, for anything and everything, immediately following a VP announcement, her popularity may be at the heart of an American political complex: a combination of political criticism, family scandal, and the messy amalgamation the two make.

As the VP pick for the Republican party, a party which strongholds family values, Palin’s family scandal could not have come at a worst time aside the first week of November. Colorado’s newfound status as a swing state was no exception to the public backlash, as shown on Craigslist.org by those who still hold her as a great compliment to the considered moderate McCain, but also by those who feel the scandal speaks to her capacity for the job.

Posts tend to disapprove Palin for the scandal speaking to the heart of a major republican-democratic rift: abortion.

One postsaid, “Republicans are against abortion, yet don’t want the government to give you a dime to help raise that child if you fall on hard times. You’re on your own after the decision they will force you to make!”

Some posts even circulate rumors as to whether Palin’s youngest son, Trig, was hers or her daughter’s child.

Ignoring circulating rumors, Obama is condemning family attacks this election as he was quoted by CNN. “I think people’s families are off-limits, and people’s children are especially off-limits. This shouldn’t be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin’s performance as governor or her potential performance as a vice president.”