Drunks Fuel Lost and Founds

Every time there is a good reason to drink ungodly amounts of liquor, the Lost and Found community ad section flourishes like a desert scene after the rain.

While the section will typically host ads galore for lost pets (particularly cats), large quantities of listed lost items are more often in direct correlation to an event such as Halloween.

This weekend preludes the unacknowledged abandonment, or the unanticipated find, of three sets of key, two phones, a camera, a flash drive, a bike, and a coat.

And those are just the tangable items listed.

Likewise, a bloody Palin, Alice in Wonderland, a Gangster Gal, Edward Norton (or at least someone who looked like him), and a delhi guy.

Were there streets covered in the lost moments and belongings that people insist on carrying with them while they impair the Hippocampus?

Innovative Food Sourcing

Hungry Craigslisting offers a variety of results, an entrepreneur’s fantasy and a collector’s vision.

Yours to make an offer on: a 1983 Chevy Stepvanwith a 350 motor, 58,000 miles. Has a fryer, steam table, warmer, grill with hood, refrigerator, 3-compartment sink, hand-wash sink. Runs with propane and electricity.

Images from the poster of the food truck.

Or you could buy yourself a fast food franchise in Greeley close to the University of Northern Colorado campus for $250,000.

Estes Park you will find a Monarch wood cook stove for $500. A wood stove for camping for $30 in Fort Collins and an antique Porcelain Wood Cook Stove Set in Loveland for $50.

You can obtain a cereal dispenser in Greeley to assist your storage of up to 35 ounces, 17.5 ounces in each of two side-by-side dispensers, for only $30.

Similarly, a dual-beverage dispensing machine saves your counter space as it “dispenses 2 flavors in less than one square foot.” It has a cooling feature, is made of stainless steel, and the poster claims to have never used it before. $600.

Buy a grill for your pleasure or for your gift giving pleasure for $75. Grill is brand new, still in the box.

Or Melissa can cook if you don’t have time to. She advertises her services for parties, receptions, or family get-togethers, and can also make a week’s worth of food for your use.

For eleven bucks, September 18th through October 2nd, you can play bingo and eat dinner with “the Knights of Columbus.” $1500 will be given away each night. Doors open at 5 p.m. and games are on Thursdays at 7 p.m. and Sundays at 6:30 p.m. Proceeds benefit the Food Bank of Larimer County, the MS Society, and the Social Justice Committee.

If you like to launder and clean, consider a live-in housekeeper job for a busy couple with a teenager. Room and board is covered and up to $300 food per month. Cooking duties are shared and negotiable. Board consists of two rooms, one smaller to suit a child and the other with showering, and a living room. This contract position is based from Greeley.

Also, the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund is looking for part-time canvassers. The pay is $12 per hour, plus a gas stipend, and hours are 2 to 8 p.m. Food is provided at the end of each shift. Canvassers must dislike Bob Schaffer.

Finally, for your scaly pets: A departed lizard leaves behind two large feeder mice for your use, and an over-exerted pet owner looks to rid himself of a Dumbo rat, preferably as a pet but for the larger varieties, it may be dinner.

Feeling Good in the Neighborhood

If you are looking for something to make you feel good about your contribution to society, there are opportunities galore on Craigslist hidden under the piles of political banter, classified ads, personals, etcetera.

One good thing you could do this weekend is help a 60-year-old man move from Greeley to Fort Collins on Saturday. He needs 2 strong youngins and has a truck. If you are impartial to shopping, shop for groceries for senior citizens unable to make the trip themselves. Shopping and delivery service volunteers help seniors remain independent and stay in their own homes. The Sexual Assault Victim Advocate Center is looking for volunteers to man the 24-hour lines.

If you do not want to work but still want to feel good, a fundraiser is being held at the Cici’s Pizza in Greeley. to help local Rosita Hester pay for a new set of lungs. The fundraiser has mulpiple dates including September 13, October 11, November 8, December 13, and January 10. Hearts and Horses is also hosting a charity event to raise money for the operation of the non-profit which gives disabled citizens a chance to ride horses. Breakfast and a ride through Horsetooth and included with a minimum donation of $25 dollars on September 21.

There is a Sustainable Living Fair on September 20th and 21th at the Rocky Mountain Raptor Center. “The 9th annual Sustainable Living Fair offers a weekend of solution-based, interactive, family oriented events designed to educate people of all ages and backgrounds about: renewable energy, green building, natural health, social responsibility, and local economies.”

Saturday 10am – 6pm
Sunday 10am – 5pm
$5 per day, Kids under 12 free!

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Misplaced People

Conga player looking for music-mates

One conga player is looking for a few who enjoy jamming out “semi-traditional son, changui, or to whip up a good Cuban Descarga.” Never left his name, his picture should surely conjure up responses.

A self-proclaimed awesome roommate is looking for a place to live, preferably in Old Town. She is a 59-year-old “civil rights activist/poet” needing a place to rent that is handicap accessible, as she recovers from a riding incident. She describes herself as fascinating, humorous, a great cook, and is single “with a friend.”

A “fearless” athletic male is looking for a partner to trade intimate or athletic massages, your choice.

A new-to-the-area couple is looking for friendship with women of color, ages 26-36, who are “gbltq friendly” for friendship that offers meaningful conversations, barbeques, board games, camping or dinner and movies. Their endeavors are strictly asexual.

Also, a pair of experienced role-playing gamers is looking for a group to join. “We’d prefer a fantasy setting but don’t mind sci-fi too much. We’re not interested in Star Trek, Star Wars, or World of Darkness. We’d prefer not to play d20 or GURPS (or any other unnecessarily complicated dice system that detracts from the actual game play), but we’re more interested in the setting and would consider it for the right group.”